


Winston Does an Oopsies

by urgaylol



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Body Swap, Fluff, M/M, Smut, in the second chapter, people talking a lot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-30
Updated: 2019-11-01
Packaged: 2021-01-13 06:29:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,009
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21239693
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/urgaylol/pseuds/urgaylol
Summary: A science experiment leads to a temporary consciousness swap.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello. I didn't think I would be writing anything else for this fandom, but I've had this idea kicking around my head for years so I took a break from my current project to write this. I have no idea if it's any good or not because I wanted it to be out before I went on vacation/for halloween, so I wrote it much faster than I usually write things
> 
> second chapter tomorrow

"How would you feel about helping me with a science experiment that has a high probability of turning into an ethical nightmare?" Winston asked.

Hanzo looked up from his dining hall taco and the rough draft of the money laundering scheme he was working on with a look of bewilderment.

"Why would I want to help you with that?" he replied after he'd finished chewing.

"Because it has a slightly higher probability of turning into an ethical dream come true."

Hanzo's face softened. He supposed net value was all that mattered in the end. 

"So I've been thinking." Winston continued. "You work a dangerous job, and trained, loyal agents are hard to come by..."

"Where are you going with this?"

Winston made a peculiar face and scratched the back of his head. When he started to speak again, he seemed anxious.

"How would you feel about placing your consciousness temporarily into a superior robot body for every mission?" he asked.

Hanzo stared in confusion.

"It would lower the likelihood of your death." Winston followed. "And you would be able to provide more physical--"

"Okay." Hanzo cut in.

"...What?"

"I accept. I will participate."

"Why did you look at me like I was crazy?"

"After hearing your proposal, I no longer understood why you were so nervous."

Although Winston seemed deeply confused, he appeared to get over it quickly.

"Could you do it now?" asked Winston.

"I don't see why not. Nothing I have to do today is time sensitive."

"That's good. That's good. I just need one more person."

Winston turned his head and glanced around the dining hall. Hanzo didn't need to look to know that it was empty, as that had been the reason he'd chosen to eat there.

"I'll, um, go look in the breakroom." Winston muttered as he lumbered off.

The second that Winston had left the room, three new figures entered.

Hanzo let out a tiny groan. He let out another when he saw that one of them was his brother.

Genji was accompanied by McCree and Ana. They all seemed to be going for the buffet bar, but to Hanzo's only mild surprise, McCree broke off at the last second and instead started to walk in his direction. 

McCree changed his direction to compensate when Hanzo stood up with his finished plate and returned it to the designated washing tubs. Hanzo said nothing as McCree came to a stop a few feet away from him.

"Howdy." McCree greeted with a wave.

When Hanzo had first been employed at Overwatch, McCree had given him the chance to get to know him. Their first few conversations had gone well, but Hanzo had backed off quickly. Because the more he learned about McCree, the less he was able to think straight upon seeing his face. And at the time, Hanzo hadn't had anywhere near a healthy enough lifestyle or free time to deal with it.

It had become routine to avoid McCree from there. Still, McCree made it hard, in more ways than one.

"Hello." Hanzo replied with a small bow, making McCree extreamly uncomfortable in the process.

"You up to anything?"

It took a while for Hanzo to decide whether or not he wanted to tell McCree about his situation. Once he'd finally decided not to, he realized that McCree had been talking for the last twenty seconds.

"--like it if you came." McCree continued. "I don't know if you know how to play poker, but it's alright if--"

"No one would like it if I came."

"I'd like it."

McCree usually tried about once a week to get Hanzo to come to communal dinners or poker games, which Hanzo had a negative amount of interest in.

"Why do you always ask me this?" Hanzo pushed.

Hanzo's words caused McCree's eyebrows to come further together. 

"Think it might be good for you." answered McCree.

"I have no interest in fraternizing."

"...Alright."

"Why do you continue to ask me when I've denied you every time?"

It took a frown from McCree and about twenty seconds for Hanzo to realize his words had been interpreted as deeply insulting, rather than ones of genuine curiosity.

"I'm about to attend a scientific demonstration with Winston." Hanzo said flatly. "You are welcome to join me." 

"Cause you feel bad for snapping at me?"

"I was not snapping at you."

McCree's mouth twisted with confusion.

"Do you want me to come?" he asked.

"Yes."

Hanzo took off to the breakroom without giving McCree a moment to catch up. McCree jogged a couple steps until they were side by side.

"So, uh, what's the science experiment?" asked McCree.

"Winston is attempting to transfer a human consciousness between vessels."

"Uhuh. And where is Winston gonna get volunteers for that?"

"We are--"

The door to the breakroom opening right as they arrived made Hanzo lose his train of thought. Winston was the one to step out, and he closed the door behind him.

"Hello, Hanzo." Winston said.

"I've brought McCree." Hanzo replied.

"Oh, good. Jack told me to shove it."

Winston led the two of them to the elevator next to the breakroom door. Once they were inside, Winston swiped his ID card over a scanner and pushed the button to send them to the basement floor, a floor that Hanzo had never had the access to visit before.

"I want to thank you two for helping me out." said Winston.

"Mhm." Hanzo muttered.

"It's no problem." McCree replied.

"Especially you, McCree." Winston continued. "I'm surprised you were willing to help me with an experiment like this."

"...Why do everybody think I don't like science?"

With a tiny exhale, Hanzo realized he had not yet told McCree what they were doing. But before he could think too hard about it, the elevator doors opened and he was ushered outside.

"Uh, this way." Winston said.

Winston led them into a small room, which Hanzo quickly examined.

It was a brightly lit area with bright white paint job. Six cryogenic chambers were leaned up against the walls, three on one side and three on the other. Inside two of the chambers on the left side, labeled four and five, were a pair of robots that looked shockingly like grey Genjis, although without the human bits.

Angela was sitting in one of two chairs at a desk off to the side. 

"Hello." she greeted.

"Hey, doc." McCree replied. "What are you doing here?"

"I am serving as the ethics adviser."

Although her words were a response to McCree's question, they seemed more aimed towards Winston. Winston didn't seem to notice, however, as he seemed more interested and walking up to the right side of the room, opposite to the robots.

He motioned for them to follow.

"Okay." Winston said. "Step one is to get you into the cryo tubes."

Hanzo nodded and put his hand on the tube in the middle. McCree placed a tentative finger on the tube that would be to Hanzo's right when he got inside.

"Why we getting in these?" asked McCree.

"Oh." Winston replied. "We want to make sure your brains are frozen when they're teleported into the robots and realigned inside of them so that you don't die instantly."

McCree's eyes grew wider than Hanzo had ever seen them. Hanzo stared at his reflection in the tube and pretended he wasn't at fault.

"When the what in the who?" McCree stuttered.

Winston scratched the back of his head. 

"You're telling me I'm the one that's gotta shove my head in a robot?" McCree followed.

"Did Hanzo not inform you?" asked Winston.

"Are you gonna put me back when you're done?"

"Of course. Of course."

With a little sigh, McCree began to rub his temple with his metal hand. Hanzo opened the door to his own cryo tube.

"Might we begin?" Hanzo asked, terribly bored. "I grow tired of waiting." 

McCree grabbed a handful of his bangs and began to tug as Hanzo stepped into the tube.

"I promise that you'll be fine." Winston said to McCree. "Athena's been programmed to line up all the nerves right." 

McCree shot an anxious look in Hanzo's direction as Hanzo stepped into the tube.

"I can't do this." McCree replied. "This is insane."

"I can offer you thirty dollars."

Hanzo closed the door to his tube. The last thing he saw before he closed his eyes was McCree sigh in defeat.

~~~~

"Have you conceptualized both nervous systems?" Winston asked Athena.

_"Yes._" Athena replied. _"I am prepared to relocate subjects to the approved husks._" 

Winston scratched his chin.

"Huh." he muttered.

"What?" Angela asked.

"I wasn't expecting this to run so smoothly."

Angela hummed and looked back down at her book. Winston did his best not to get his hopes up just yet.

"Initiate the teleportation sequence." Winston ordered. "Make sure both nervous systems get mirrored over the y axis." 

_"Of course. You did not program me to be an idiot._"

A flash of blue light crackled between the two rows of cryochambers. Winston couldn't see it happen, but he was sure that Hanzo and McCree's heads had both been emptied.

"Was the teleportation successful?" asked Winston.

_"Yes. Both nervous systems have been properly relocated to the husks._"

Winston exhaled in celebration.

"That's good." he said. "Align human nervous systems with the husks."

It took Athena about two hours to finish the job. Winston twiddled his thumbs and stared at the frozen bodies as she worked.

_"Alignment complete._" Athena announced.

Angela put down her book.

"Perfect." Winston replied. "Please turn off cryo chambers four and five."

A moment passed before Athena said anything. Winston turned his attention to the husks in the chambers.

_"Detecting high risk of failure._"

"Uh, what? Why?"

_"Simulations imply that human nervous systems may have not successfully bonded with husks. Verbal override from Overwatch personnel required to continue with procedure._"

"Sure, override sounds fine."

"Override absolutely does _not_ sound fine." Angela snapped.

_"Detecting stalemate._"

Winston looked over at Angela and gulped to see that her glare was one of nightmares.

"Override not necessary." Winston muttered in defeat. "Please transport nervous systems back to--"

Winston cut himself off in surprise as the word MALFUNCTION wrote itself in red across McCree's cryo chamber. After a short moment of shock, Winston exchanged a wide-eyed glance with Angela.

"Move him to another chamber." Angela frantically suggested. "And quickly. An unfrozen body without a brain will not survive long."

Winston worked as fast as he could manage. With little care, he removed McCree's body from the first chamber.

McCree's body was cold and lifeless as Winston relocated him to the third cryo chamber, the one on the other side of Hanzo's. As he shut the door, he sucked in a breath of hope. He wasn't sure what Angela would do to him if McCree wasn't alive, but he doubted it would be good.

_"I'm sorry, did you give me an order? Could you please repeat it?"_

"Yes. Yes." Winston replied. "Please transport nervous systems back to their owners."

_"Affirmative._"

A second flash of blue light flickered between the chambers.

_"Beginning realignment process._"

Athena took another two hours to put the brains back. When she'd finally finished, Winston had to nudge Angela awake.

"Is she done?" Angela asked.

"Yes." Winston answered.

"Then let's go see if they're alive."

~~~~

_"Oh, thank god._" said a familiar but distant voice. _"He's breathing._"

_"McCree, are you alright?" _another voice asked.

Hanzo pried his eyes open to see that both Winston and Angela were staring at him with concerned expressions.

He immediately began to feel self conscious.

"McCree, can you hear us?" asked Angela.

"Why are you calling me that?" Hanzo replied.

As soon as the words had left his mouth, Hanzo's eyes widened into circles. Because even though his voice had been of his own cadence, the voice box didn't feel like the one he'd had every other day of his life.

A thought began to dawn on Hanzo as he remembered they'd called him McCree. Slowly, he let his eyes drift down to his arms, one made of flesh and the other of--

"なんてこった!" Hanzo shouted.

Shock struck both Angela and Winston's faces, which Hanzo found fairly relatable.

"Do you know who you are?" asked Winston.

"No." Hanzo replied.

"It's Hanzo's accent." Angela said.

"Oh, damn it." Winston mumbled. "Let's wake up the--other Hanzo."

Hanzo was helped out of the cryo chamber by Angela while Winston got to opening the other one. Hanzo's jaw dropped in horror to see his own body behind the glass.

"That is--" Hanzo stammered. "I am--"

"Yeah, I know." Winston replied. "I think I know what happened."

"Please share."

"Just give me a second. I don't want to explain it twice."

"Is it reversible?"

Winston didn't answer, seemingly too preoccupied with the other cryo chamber.

While Winston opened the chamber, Hanzo took one more look at himself. His jeans, flannel, and five inches of extra height were horrifying reminders that he was definitely in a different body.

Hanzo's--McCree's eyes opened up a few seconds after the door opened. They darted between Winston and Angela for a moment before widening significantly and settling on Hanzo.

"Hello." Hanzo waved.

McCree screamed.

"There was a, um, small problem." said Winston.

Face white, McCree slowly ran his eyes down himself. When he got to his arms, he held them outright.

"Am I--" McCree stumbled with the wrong voice box. "How did--"

"Why don't you two sit down?" Winston cut in.

It took McCree about five minutes to calm down enough to hold a conversation. Hanzo used the time to try and see if there was a difference in sensation between his metal hand and his flesh one.

"Can you please tell me what the hell's going on?" McCree asked Angela.

"Why are you asking me?" she replied.

Winston cleared his throat. Over the course of the three minutes that followed, he provided an explanation that Hanzo found strangely fascinating.

"So the short version is that we were able to transport your minds into the husks, but we were unable to wire them safely." Winston reiterated. "But before I reversed the process, I switched you to chamber three. Athena was programmed to send your minds to the closest bodies, and that's exactly what she did."

"There a reason you didn't swap Hanzo and me again before you pulled the switch?" asked McCree.

"Yes."

"Why?"

"I did not think of it."

McCree shot Winston a look of disbelief. Hanzo found the sight of McCree's expression on his own face to be more than a little disorienting.

"This is fine, then." Hanzo said. "We can initiate the procedure again, and switch the bodies while our minds are inside the husks."

"Oh, sure." Winston replied. "This will be no problem for science."

No one moved.

"Why don't we do it now?" Hanzo suggested.

Winston winced.

"Doing this requires quite a bit of energy." he explained. "I'd say there's about a fifty-fifty chance of causing a mass power outage and killing you both in the process."

Hanzo exchanged a glance with his own face.

"Oh, now Winston's cautious." Angela muttered.

"If this requires so much energy, why do you think it would work as a military tactic?" asked Hanzo.

"The short answer to that question is grant money, and the long answer is wishful thinking." Winston replied. "I'm so sorry to ask you this, but would you two mind waiting a day?"

Personally, Hanzo did mind waiting a day. Still, he could tell that Winston wasn't really making a request.

"Where the hell is my thirty dollars?" McCree asked.

Winston pulled out his wallet and fished out a twenty and a ten. He darted his gaze between Hanzo and McCree for a few seconds before cautiously holding the money out to Hanzo.

"No." said McCree.

They ended up agreeing on first thing in the morning. It was midnight, so they would only have to wait eight hours. Hypothetically, Hanzo could go to bed and sleep away the problem.

At least he could have if he was tired. But the shock had woken him up quite a bit.

"Well, uh, guess I'll see you two tomorrow." Winston said after he'd ushered them off to the elevator they'd come up in. "I'm sorry to kick you out, but I have some, uh, papers to write."

Hanzo didn't reply. McCree grunted as the doors closed, cutting them off from the man who'd invited them to a science experiment, accidentally swapped their consciousnesses, and then sent them back up to go about their day.

They were silent for the duration of the elevator ride. It was an unpleasant, numbing kind of silence. Hanzo felt like he should say something for both their sakes, but the thought of making things worse held him back.

The elevator dinged and opened its doors. Hanzo took a cautious step forward and glanced over his shoulder, getting his first real look at McCree since they'd been switched.

"So would you consider this to be a conundrum, or would you call it more of a debacle?" asked McCree. 

McCree's joke was terrible, but the timing was enough to make Hanzo chuckle. The second he'd started, McCree broke a smile.

His smile fit poorly on Hanzo's face. 

"I would personally classify it as a fuck-up." Hanzo replied.

"Settle for oopsies."

McCree's hair had always been more disheveled than Hanzo's, which meant that bangs now fell awkwardly in Hanzo's eyes. His jeans dug uncomfortably into his sides, he was too tall, his mouth tasted wrong, and he was craving a cigarette for the first time in his life. Still, hearing the strange mixture of their voices from both their mouths was probably the most off-putting thing of them all.

"How do you walk with legs so long?" Hanzo asked as he stepped out of the elevator.

"How am I supposed to answer that question?"

"The ground is so far away. I am afraid of falling."

"Good for you. I feel like I could pick up a fridge."

There was another uncomfortable moment as Hanzo realized they were both just standing in the hall with nowhere to go.

"You wanna get some tea?" McCree asked.

Hanzo quietly sighed in relief. He wasn't sure if he could've handled being alone.

"Very well." Hanzo replied.

McCree's hands were glued to his cheekbones as they entered the breakroom. To Hanzo's deep appreciation, no one else was in the room.

The tea maker was perched on a small table near the sink. The table seemed to have shifted slightly, unplugging the tea maker in the process. McCree's body was leaner than the one Hanzo was used to. It wasn't by much, but Hanzo could definitely feel the difference as started to scoot the table forward in range of the outlet.

"Allow me." McCree said as he lifted the table with one hand and placed it a few inches forward.

McCree got the cups ready while Hanzo worked with the plug. It didn't take them too long to get two cups of hot water.

"I'm craving nicotine." Hanzo admitted.

"You surprised?" 

"Yes. I would have thought you'd smoked if you were longing for a cigarette."

"I like to deal with constant withdrawals. Ana says I'm too nice if I smoke as much as I like."

Hanzo gawked in disbelief. 

"But, hey, you should have one." said McCree. "You sure as hell don't need to be any grumpier."

As he spoke, McCree pointed to Hanzo's chest. Hanzo looked down to see a front pocket. In it, he found a cigar and a lighter. He lit the cigar and the scent of fine tobacco filled his nose. It was surprisingly easy to keep it in his mouth as he took a sip of his tea.

It felt strange that neither of them had confronted the situation. Hanzo took a seat on the floor with his hands in his lap while McCree slumped onto the couch.

"Jesus Christ." McCree muttered as he covered his eyes with his hand.

"Are you alright?"

"I'm fine, I'm just--I never even imagined that something like this could happen."

"I don't think it is so shocking."

McCree uncovered his face to reveal a puzzled expression.

"Really?" he asked.

"It was not within the realm of what I expected to happen when I woke up this morning, but I feel it is far less existential than you're making it out to be."

"This is hands down the strangest thing that's ever happened to me in my life. How can you say that?"

"I do not think this any stranger than the time I emerged from a vagina and made a blood pact with an ancient dragon spirit. Wouldn't you agree?"

McCree squinted his eyes and seemed to really consider what Hanzo had said. Still, his face only twisted with more distress.

"I'm more confused now." McCree said.

"What troubles you?" 

"Am I me, or are you me?"

"What do you mean?"

"I know the way I've been thinking about it is that--"

McCree gestured to himself.

"--I'm Jesse, and you're Hanzo." he finished.

"Yes."

"But is that really what it is? I mean, a human's more than just a brain. Who's to say the body ain't just as much of a...determination?"

Hanzo scoffed.

"I would hardly consider that a question worth asking." Hanzo said as he opened and closed his metal hand.

"Why not?" McCree asked.

"There is no definition of who you are carved in stone, and there is none for me."

"So what are we?"

"We are undefined. Would you like to be defined? Here, I am part of society, and therefore, I can define you."

"Uh--"

"Hand me that."

Hanzo gestured to a scrap of paper and a pencil sitting on the end table on the couch. McCree shrugged and passed them. Upon picking up the pencil, Hanzo drew a crude doodle of the two of them and wrote in the definition 'abomination of Christ' on the paper.

"Here." Hanzo said as he passed McCree the paper. "Give this to Harvard, and it will be written in the stars for an eternity by tomorrow."

McCree burst out laughing.

"What?" asked Hanzo.

"It's funny. You're funny. I ain't never seen you so riled up."

Hanzo's mouth softened at the realization.

"My apologies." he replied. "I've a specific principle about this subject that I am rather adamant about."

"And what's that?"

It took Hanzo a moment to put it into words. Even when he had, he didn't feel particularly satisfied.

"I am of the belief that there is nothing that inherently separates us--as humans, or as lifeforms, from any other aspect of reality." Hanzo answered.

McCree took a while to reply. He rubbed Hanzo's goatee as he pondered, and looked deep enough in his thoughts to make Hanzo feel like he'd been properly listened to.

"That's your ideology?" McCree asked.

"Yes." Hanzo replied.

"Your only one?"

"No. I have several."

"What are the others?"

"There are many others."

"Choose four."

Hanzo had always had a difficult time choosing things randomly from a selection, but he forced himself to pick four.

"Self-discipline." he started.

"Uhuh." McCree replied. 

"Competency."

"Okay."

"Radical communism."

"...A money laundering pinko. That's real poetic."

"Sexual promiscuity."

"I weren't aware that was an ideology."

"A failure on your part." 

McCree let out a short chuckle. 

"What about you?" Hanzo asked.

"That's easy. Prudishness and Anarchy."

"That is the worst combination of things I've ever heard."

"You clearly ain't never mixed piss with gelatin."

It was less the content alone of McCree's words that cause Hanzo to laugh and more the speed at which he'd provided them. 

"What the fuck?" a new voice asked.

In horror, Hanzo whipped his head towards the voice to see Lucio standing in the doorway with eyes the size of silver dollars. After sucking in a deep breath, Hanzo exchanged a glance of desperation with McCree.

"Howdy." McCree greeted. 

"Lucio, you're blocking the door." Hana said as she stepped into view. "Whoa, are you guys alright?"

It looked like she'd come from the bathroom. Hanzo coughed. He had no desire to explain their situation, and he wasn't sure they'd believe him if he tried.

"Hanzo's talking in a Southern accent, McCree's mocking the Japanese, and I don't know what's going on." Lucio explained.

Hana gave the two of them a long look. Once she'd finished, she snapped her fingers.

"Oh." she said happily. "They probably just switched bodies."

"What?" Lucio asked.

"What?" McCree asked.

"How would you--how did you--" Hanzo stammered.

"Look at how they're sitting." Hana explained. "They're clearly not just trying to imitate each other, as they're doing too good of jobs. So body swap is the only explanation."

Hanzo supposed Hana had a point. McCree shrugged when Hanzo shot him another glance.

"Have you two banged yet?" Hana followed.

After inhaling much too quickly, Hanzo nearly swallowed his cigar. McCree's face twisted in such a way that indicated that the body swap was no longer the most shocking part of his day. 

"...Hwat?" asked McCree.

"Have you two banged?"

While Hana waited for an answer, Lucio continued to gawk at the two of them with his jaw on the ground.

"That's what you're supposed to do when you swap bodies with someone else." Hana continued. "That's why you did it, right?"

Hanzo exchanged another glance with McCree.

"No, we did not do this intentionally." Hanzo explained slowly. "Nor did we even--mildly consider consummating."

"Oh, okay. I just misread the situation." Hana replied. "Good luck getting back."

Hana left the room with a wave and a smile. Lucio gave them one last stare before following her, banging into the wall before he made it out the door.

A few seconds of silence passed. It only broke when McCree let out a helpless chuckle.

"That was weird." he said.

"Yes."

"We should probably get out of the breakroom."

"Yes."

Neither of them moved. Hanzo realized he had no plan. He didn't have any responsibilities that he couldn't easily push back another day. He wanted to continue being with McCree, both because he was enjoying the company and wanted to keep track of his body. 

"Would you like to come over?" Hanzo asked.

"Please. I don't wanna be alone like this."

Hanzo grew more comfortable with McCree's legs as he led them to his quarters. He felt the first hints of sleepiness hit him, but they were easy to ignore.

Hopefully, he'd be getting the day off when morning came. Satisfied, Hanzo snubbed out the cigar and put what was left of it back in his front pocket.

"Please take your shoes off." Hanzo said as he let McCree inside.

"Nice place." 

"Thank you."

Hanzo slipped off McCree's loafers while McCree took off his boots.

"Ooh, you got some tiny little ankles." said McCree.

"I am better than you at everything."

"That's nice."

They both placed their shoes next to the door after they'd removed them. McCree went straight for Hanzo's couch and initially sat down but draped himself over it when Hanzo indicated that he'd rather sit on the floor.

"Oooh." McCree said once he'd gotten comfortable.

"Would you mind if I loosen your belt?"

"Nah."

As Hanzo messed with his belt, a phone fell from his pocket. He didn't have to examine it for very long to see it wasn't his own.

"Would you like this?" Hanzo asked as he shook the phone.

"Yeah. Here's yours."

They tossed the phones to each other in two neat arcs. Upon catching his, Hanzo unlocked it and opened a tab.

"Still can't believe D.Va said that." McCree muttered as he pocketed his phone.

"I can." Hanzo replied.

"Why?"

"Because I have just Googled 'body swap'."

"What's that got to do with it?"

"The results are exclusively pornographic." 

McCree let out a sharp laugh. Out of curiosity, Hanzo opened a piece of erotica and started to skim it.

"I don't get it." said McCree. "Why do people wanna fuck themselves?"

"I think it may have nothing to do with self-debauchery." Hanzo answered. "The appeal comes from the sexual tension between two people forced to spend time in bodies they are attracted to."

"But they're still banging--themselves. I couldn't suck my own..."

"I believe that the creators of these pieces are so attracted to the characters they're writing about that they cannot fathom what it would be like for someone not to be attracted to them, including the characters towards themselves."

"Nah. That's too cynical."

McCree sounded like he had more to say. Hanzo exited the Sonic X Knuckles fanfiction he'd been reading and put his phone away.

"What do you think it is, then?" Hanzo asked.

"It's just a--fetish. A weird one. People get off to all kinds of stuff, like getting choked or feet or having a car shrink down and drive up their dick hole and expand inside them, killing them instantly."

"It may be a fetish for some, but I still feel the prompt is actually quite simple." 

McCree exhaled and shook his head in wonder.

"Huh." he muttered. "I don't usually talk about this kinda stuff." 

"Oh."

"But I gotta admit that it'd be a lie to say that I ain't never wanted to--"

McCree cut himself off.

"What?" asked Hanzo.

"You know."

"How could I possibly know?"

"...Know what whoever I'm screwing is feeling."

"Would you consider having to kiss your own face to be worth it?"

Hanzo kept his face still as McCree looked over to study his face with thin eyes.

"Guess not." McCree answered.

Hanzo wasn't sure if there were any ramifications to what McCree had said, as well as the nature of their conversation as a whole, but he got the feeling there were.

He didn't think about it too hard.

"God, we sound like Freudians." McCree followed.

"You dare compare me to that mother lusting incel?"

McCree let out a tiny snicker.

"Damn. How bout we talk about something else?" he suggested.

"What do you wish to speak about?"

"Dunno."

Hanzo wasn't particularly picky either. Although they hadn't been talking for very long, he got the feeling that he could speak with McCree over just about anything and be set.

"You enjoying my thighs there, pardner?" asked McCree.

After he noticed McCree was staring at him, Hanzo looked down to see that he'd dug his fingers into the meat of his thighs.

"Oh." Hanzo said as he removed his hands. "My apologies. I just found them so disorienting."

"I understand. I keep catching myself touching your face."

"Would you like some more tea? I'm not ready to sleep."

"Sure."

With a tiny grunt, Hanzo got up from his spot on the floor. It took him a few minutes longer to make tea for the two of them than it had in the breakroom, but the scent that rose from his pot reminded him why it was worth it. He could hear McCree humming a faint tune as he worked, and he returned to the living room with two cups of tea to see that McCree had pulled a blanket over himself.

The humming stopped.

"Thank you kindly." McCree said as Hanzo passed him a cup.

As McCree took a sip of his tea and coughed at the heat, Hanzo was struck with a curiosity. 

"What tune were you humming?" Hanzo asked, innocently enough.

"Uh, Redneck Mother." answered McCree.

"Mmh."

McCree took another sip of his tea.

"I've never sang before." Hanzo admitted.

"Really?" McCree asked.

"Only a few times. I have no ear."

"Ah."

"You know how to sing, correct?"

"I guess."

"Then I have a request." 

A grin broke out on McCree's face.

"So you want me to sing with your voice." he said.

"If you would not mind."

McCree did not seem to mind one bit.

"What kinda song?" asked McCree.

"I've no preference." Hanzo replied.

"Country or Western?"

"Country."

"We talking deep south, mid south, or Texas?"

"Texas." 

"Honky Tonk or Folk?" 

"Folk."

"March or swung eighths?"

"...Swung."

Hanzo watched McCree's face closely as he put his tea on the coffee table and rolled onto his back. After a few moments of thought, McCree opened his mouth.

_"I can see that lone star from a thousand miles away._" McCree sang. _"Calling me back home although I've ventured far astray. When I see that beacon shinning for me all alone_..."

"Why did you stop?"

"Didn't realize you were a bass. _It calls me back to Texas and to home._" 

McCree sung the last line of the phrase about a half octave lower than he'd sung the first part. When he continued, he stuck with the lower key.

_"Lone star shine down on my home town, fill my memories, light my way._"

Hearing his own voice sing well was a bit of a trip for Hanzo. He let his eyes fall closed and smiled to himself at how pleased McCree seemed to be with his new ability to sing so low.

_"...bound to roam, my thoughts are still of Texas and of home._"

When McCree's song ended, several seconds went by before Hanzo felt he was able to speak.

"That was--thank you." Hanzo managed.

"No problem. But now, you gotta do something for me."

"What would you like?"

"I dunno. What can you do that I can't?"

It didn't take Hanzo long to think of something. He was surprised by how willing he felt to share it.

"I can dance." said Hanzo.

As he spoke, Hanzo pulled out his phone.

"You ain't gonna make me do that Japanese fisherman thing you did at Genji's birthday, are you?" McCree asked.

"No." Hanzo replied as he deleted 'fisherman dance melody' from the search bar.

With Hanzo's first choice of dance out the window, he struggled to think of something else. When he did, he cursed himself for not thinking of it first.

Hanzo reached into his pocket and pulled out McCree's wallet.

"Whatcha doing there, pardner?" asked McCree.

After pulling some loose change from McCree's wallet, Hanzo put it back in his pocket and got up to grab a roll of scotch tape. Finally, he reacquired the loafers he'd left at his door. 

It didn't take him long to tape the change to the bottoms of the shoes. He moved their tea cups to the end table so that he could sit on his coffee table as he slipped them on. 

"What the hell you doing?" McCree followed.

"Get off the couch."

As McCree left the couch and sat down on the floor before the coffee table, Hanzo searched his phone for the song he needed. He randomly skipped past the intro and jumped into the center of the piece, although that just made it all the more impressive when he leapt up on the coffee table and easily found his place.

"At this point, I reckon I would've been more surprised if you didn't know how to Riverdance." McCree said as Reel around the Sun Played.

It had been a while for Hanzo, and working with legs that weren't his own was a little disorienting. Still, he was pretty sure he was doing a good job. 

"Thank you." Hanzo replied.

"How are you so good at this?"

"The trick is to keep your upper body still. The Irish believed too much upper body movement was an indication that you were one of those daemon degenerates who enjoyed acts such as premarital sex."

McCree's mouth widened into a smile as he continued to stare in awe. 

"You only know this and the fisherman thing?" asked McCree.

"I can also crip-walk. Would you prefer I did that?"

"Wow. Not even a little."

The next part of the dance was a solo part, meant to cover significantly more space than a coffee table. Still, Hanzo continued with faux ease.

"Your lower body is impressive." Hanzo noted.

"I thought I'd be a downgrade for you."

"I'm impressed by how little of a downgrade it is."

"Blow it out your ass."

Hanzo only managed to make it a minute into the solo before McCree's calves started to fail him. With little grace, he slowed to a halt and tumbled off the table onto the couch, panting hard.

McCree grabbed Hanzo's phone and paused the music.

"You alright?" McCree asked.

"As long as you found my performance adequate."

"It was a hell of a lot more than adequate, even without the shock value."

As Hanzo lied down on his side, it occurred to him that they'd switched positions.

"Thank you for doing that." McCree followed. "It was wild."

"It was my pleasure."

"You should do it again for me sometime. When you got your own feet back."

"Hmm."

Hanzo turned over to see that McCree was staring at him.

"What?" asked Hanzo.

"You're easier to talk to with my face."

"Why's that?"

"Less intimidating. I like your face more than mine."

Hanzo was unsure how to reply.

"You're embarrassed." McCree said with a tiny smile.

"I am not embarrassed. I don't get embarrassed."

"Hell yes you do. I got you flustered."

With a tiny scoff, Hanzo turned his face away.

"Shouldn't I be harder to talk to if I have the face you like less?" Hanzo wondered.

_"Shouldn't I be harder to talk to if I have the face you like less?"_ McCree repeated.

Hanzo's eyes widened. McCree had done a great job with his imitation, which was how Hanzo learned that hearing McCree try and succeed to sound exactly like him was even more off-putting than hearing the wrong accent come from his mouth.

"Don't do that." said Hanzo.

_"Don't do that._"

"You sound like a daemon."

_"My name is Shimada Hanzo and why must I be smarter and better than everyone else? It's so hard._"

"Are you enjoying yourself?"

_"My name is Shimada Gaylord and I like to suck on big dicks. Does anyone know where I can get a large dick to obtain for sucking?"_

Hanzo let out a sleepy chuckle.

"I'm unsure how I've managed to come across this way." he replied.

"Yeah, well, what's your take on me?"

Hanzo furrowed his brow at the thought of doing an imitation of McCree. He knew he wanted to make McCree sound like a caricature, but he'd always had a difficult time telling North American accents apart.

When he did start, he made sure he sounded as angry as possible.

_"Look at me. I was shot in the ass in Viet-nam' and I once killed a man at a sports game and I watch pornography with ape-like phalluses and hairless women like uncultured swine._" Hanzo said in what he would later learn was a thick Brooklyn accent.

"Damn, you're right. That's me."

As the night wore on, Hanzo lost track of how many hours they'd stayed up for. Hanzo found McCree's company to be more enjoyable by the second. McCree seemed to have the ability to make any subject interesting, and by the time four in the morning rolled around, Hanzo began to wonder if McCree was smarter than him.

Eventually, a few minutes of silence fell. Hanzo let his eyes close, although he didn't fall asleep.

He couldn't remember the last time he'd felt so at peace.

"Why'd we stop talking?" asked McCree.

Hanzo's eyes snapped open. He hadn't been waiting for McCree to ask, although he wasn't particularly surprised that he had.

"Tonight?" Hanzo replied. "Or were you asking in a more general sense."

"General." McCree answered. 

"It is hard to explain. It was nothing personal."

"Seemed pretty personal."

"Why does it matter to you?"

"I liked you. I thought we'd hit it off pretty well when you first came here. Wasn't sure why you started giving me the cold shoulder."

Hanzo supposed McCree deserved to hear the truth. 

"I was attracted to you." Hanzo said slowly. "I did not feel I had the time or the state of mind to deal with it."

It was subtle, but McCree let out an exhale of surprise. Hanzo felt like he should have been embarrassed, but he'd never been one to lie.

"So, uh..." McCree trailed off.

"What?" Hanzo replied, quick as he could.

"You know what I'm getting at."

"Inside your mouth you will find your tongue. Use it."

"You still attracted to me?"

"Yes."

The conversation had been rapid-fire fast. Hanzo's anxiety peaked when McCree said nothing for several seconds.

"Are you alright?" Hanzo asked.

"Yeah." answered McCree. "Just got all warm, is all."

"Oh."

"I kinda--I kinda had a thing for you too."

"You did?"

"Course I did. You were all blunt and pretty and sharp."

"Both blunt and sharp?"

"Yeah. Like a baseball bat with a bunch of glass shards shoved in it. Drives me a little wild."

McCree's words sounded fond enough to give Hanzo the courage to ask what he wanted to ask.

"Do you still?" Hanzo pushed.

"You ain't changed, have you?"

Hanzo could do nothing to stop the smile that found its way onto his face.

"Only recently, when I woke up to find myself in a body of a coworker." Hanzo answered.

"Really?" McCree replied.

"Yes. Has it happened to you?"

"One time I turned into a giant cockroach."

"...I don't understand."

"That's fine."

Hanzo felt his eyes start to close. He didn't do anything to stop them, although his grin stayed strong.

"Guess what I'm trying to say is that if after we get our bodies back, if you wanna join me for a drink, I'd be alright with that." McCree followed.

"As long as you do not force me to drink the horrid piss from your flask, it would be my pleasure."

"Hey now."

As he grew sleepier and more content, Hanzo put each hand on the opposite side of his waist and squeezed.

"God." said McCree.

"What?"

"I wish I could kiss you."

"Go into the bathroom and kiss the mirror."

Although he couldn't see it, Hanzo could almost hear McCree's eyes snapping open.

"A mirror!" McCree called out.

McCree jumped up from the couch and frantically raced around Hanzo's quarters until he found the bathroom. Once inside, he darted out of view.

"Huh?" Hanzo asked.

"Can I bring out this stand-up mirror?"

"...Do as you please."

McCree quickly returned to the room hauling a long mirror. He positioned the mirror on the wall next to the couch and took a stand before it.

"Look at that." McCree said as he stared at himself. "That is one beautiful face."

Hanzo traveled to the kitchen to put their empty tea cups away. When he came back, McCree was on all fours in front of the mirror with his knees apart and his butt up in the air.

"I fell." McCree explained.

"I will fall too." Hanzo replied as he rolled onto his back and used his hands to pry his thighs apart.

"Ah!"

McCree rolled into a ball and turned his face away. Hanzo did his best not to laugh when he noticed how red the tips of his ears were.

"I'm sorry." McCree muttered. "I learnt my lesson."

"It is alright. I won't tease you anymore."

McCree breathed a sigh of relief and returned to his position on his side. After he'd returned to the couch, Hanzo let his face fall into the cushions.

"You sleepy?" asked McCree.

"No."

"I am. We should get to bed."

Hanzo mumbled and turned onto his stomach. He almost called out in surprise when McCree hoisted him up by the waist and tossed him over his shoulders with ease.

"Enjoying your strength?" Hanzo asked as his world grew warm and bumpy.

McCree hoisted Hanzo onto one shoulder while he opened the bedroom door with the other.

"What do you think?" he replied.

Hanzo was deposited onto his sleeping mats with a little clunk. With a smile, he stretched himself out to find that his feet now hung over the edge.

He wished he could have spent more time with McCree, but he also wanted to make sure that he brought his body back in good condition.

"See you in the morning, Shimada." McCree said as he left.

"Mhm." 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry, this took a day longer to get out than I'd hoped

Although he was tired, sleeping proved itself difficult with a different body. He'd kept his clothing on for ethical reasons, but all it really meant was that his jeans dug into his sides. Hanzo found himself readjusting himself awkwardly until about five in the morning, when he finally decided to text McCree asking for advice. 

_ Do you sleep with your arm on or off?  _

It was late enough that Hanzo had no expectations for McCree to answer. But to his surprise, his phone buzzed just a few seconds later.

_on. only take it off for maintenance checks  _

_ What are you still doing up? _

Hanzo was happier than he should have been when his phone buzzed again.

_ could ask you the same question _

_ I can't sleep. _

_ yeah, me neither _

_ ain't used to sleeping with clothes on _

Hanzo raised an eyebrow.

_ I'm not particularly shy about my body. _

_ got the impression _

_ I would not be ashamed if you saw me _

_ it's a little more than that _

_ i'm a weak man. i don't trust myself around your naked body, to tell you the truth _

Hanzo raised his other eyebrow.

_ didn't even look when i took a leak _

_ How was it? _

_ higher pressure than i'm used to, but otherwise alright _

_ I would not mind you getting intimate with me. _

It took McCree almost a minute to reply.

_ what? _

_ I would not mind  _

_ why not? _

_ You don't think it could be interesting? _

Hanzo could almost hear McCree's brow furrowing.

_ thought you'd be a little more conservative _

_ Why does everyone think this of me? _

_ you talk like the ghost of an old Swiss dandy _

_ I was unaware that the wealthy were known for their abstinence. _

_ got me there _

Hanzo ran his eyes down his body, pausing at his thighs. 

_ Would you be content with me removing my clothing? _

_ yes _

_ no _

_ I will keep my clothing on. _

_ to tell you the truth, i'm pretty riled up right _

_ but i dunno if we should  _

_ Why not? _

_ can't speak for you, but i ain't really in a hit it and quit it kinda mood _

_ i'm not sure how to say this, but i'd like to make a habit out of banging you _

_ don't know if i want the first time we get each other off to be something so far removed from anything we'll ever do again _

Hanzo did his best to genuinely consider McCree's words.

_ I understand your hesitations but I consider the special circumstances of our situation to be exactly why we should do it. _

_ When will we ever have an opportunity like this again?  _

_ But if you are opposed, I understand. I won't try to change your mind. _

_ i dunno _

_ what if it's real hot _

_ so hot that it's all downhill from there _

Hanzo let out a sharp chuckle.

_ I can think of many things more erotic  _

_ like what _

Once again, Hanzo found himself experiencing difficulty in the act of choosing something at random. Thankfully, a program called 'random generator of erotic prompts' that he found on 4chan was able to help get his thoughts started.

_ I enjoy the thought of relieving you of stress. _

_ and how would you do that? _

_ I have a mouth. _

_ yeah? _

_ this a 'i'm stressed, you pull me over to the couch and spread my legs' kinda thing, or a 'you get to your knees and pull my zipper down' sort of deal? _

Hanzo sucked in a quick breath. There was a stirring between his legs as he had his first experience getting an erection with someone else's penis.

_ These are not two separate fantasies. These are two pieces of the same fantasy in rapid succession.  _

_ sorry. seemed a little less assertive _

_ Oh, I'd just thought you might have been unaware.  _

_ ass _

_ In reference to your fantasy, I'd theoretically like to tease you more. _

_ Although after spending the day with your thighs, I'm unsure how long I'd be able to keep my face anywhere but between them. _

It took Hanzo's phone a few seconds longer to buzz with a reply than it had the time before. Hanzo took it as a good sign.

_ can i look at you? _

_ Yes. _

_ can i touch you? _

_ Yes. May I give you some advice? _

_ what? _

_ Put a hand on my chest. _

_ hell, you're sensitive _

_ I recommend rolling the pads of your fingers over my nipples. _

As Hanzo waited for McCree to reply, he left his bedroom in favor of his living room. After propping the mirror that had been left out against the inside of his coffee table, he took a seat on the couch in front of it.

He'd only meant to zip his pants part of the way down, but McCree's cock was so hard that it practically unzipped itself out. After just a moment, Hanzo decided he couldn't wait anymore and pushed every piece of fabric out of the way.

McCree's cock was darker in color than the one he was used to and curved unfamiliarly to the side. A drop of precum welled at the tip before making a slow fall down the back of his shaft.

_ fuck _

_ your cock liked that _

_ wish i had another hand _

Hanzo ran his tongue over his palm and began to stroke his--McCree's cock. Fantasies of fucking and getting fucked and trying to fuck while fucking and throwing out his back filled his mind.

_ what are you doing right now? _

_ What do you think? _

_ i wanna hear it _

_ The state of your cock is in my hands, if you would like to be coy. _

_ I'm pleasuring myself. _

_ Currently to the sight of your hips pumping your erection into my hand. _

_ Paradoxical, don't you think? _

_ i'm still thinking about you sucking my cock _

_ well, no. now i'm thinking about sucking your cock _

_ goddamn, you're like silk _

_ if you ever get a craving to come in my mouth, let me know _

A little shiver made its way down Hanzo's spine. Hanzo moved his metal hand from McCree's flat stomach underneath himself so that he could squeeze his butt. 

_ Would you want to draw me out until I was begging for it, or would you prefer for me to run my hands through your hair and fuck your face? _

_ you can't just ask a man a question like that _

_ you looking at yourself? _

_ I am in front of a mirror. _

_ You're putting on a nice show. _

_ accurate one, too. mirror's usually where i jerk off _

Hanzo faltered his rhythm for just a moment to exhale and smile.

_ can i ask you something? _

_ Please. _

_ how do you feel about taking cock? _

_ I am in favor. _

_ how do you feel about taking my cock? _

_ I am in favor.  _

It took McCree a few seconds longer to reply again. Hanzo examined himself in the mirror and pretended that it was McCree alone, spending the night in.

_ talk to me. tell me how you want me to do it _

_ you got me so hot _

_ can't stop squeezing you _

Hanzo could relate. Every moment that he hadn't been using it to text, Hanzo's free hand had been digging into the lovely meat of his thigh.

_ you a bottom? _

Hanzo couldn't help but chuckle to himself. It wasn't the first time he'd been asked such a thing at five in the morning.

_ I am a militant switch. _

_ i'm a top but i'd bottom for you _

_ i mean i'd prefer not to  _

_ but goddamn _

Hanzo could not believe how adorable McCree was.

_ got off track. you were saying? _

_ I like the thought of you bending me over a table.  _

_ ooh  _

_ don't know if i could do that _

_ seems rude _

_ What if I was already bent over? _

_ And I was going to die if I wasn't fucked, rendering it your moral obligation? _

_ what situation is this? _

_ fuck it you got a cute butt _

_ right now i'm looking at myself bent over the counter in the mirror and i reckon i couldn't help myself _

_ do you arch your back? _

_ So long as I'm being properly fucked. _

_ Tell me, are you properly fucking me? _

McCree's cock got impossibly hard as Hanzo continued to rub. A sticky pool of precum began to form just below his navel.

_ strange question to answer when i'm on your hands and knees_

_ but i'd treat you right _

_ undress you nice and proper  _

_ prep you first and make sure my fingers fount the good spot _

_ good information to know when i'm inside you _

_ Continue. _

_ after you were ready to go i'd spread your legs apart _

_ tilt your tailbone up with my hands _

_ push inside of you and do my best not to lose it right there _

It had been a long time for Hanzo since he'd had sex, and even longer when he'd been the one getting fucked.

Still, he could imagine the sensation vividly.

_ My current activity has left me with no doubts that your phallus would be a good fit. _

_ I would consider it a privilege to get filled with your cock. _

_ yeah? _

_ I can assure you that I'd bring my hips up to meet yours every time you pushed into me._

_ goddamn. didn't think you'd be so filthy _

Hanzo raised an eyebrow at McCree's idea of filthy.

He didn't think too hard about it.

_ I can also assure you I'd be unable to keep quiet. _

Although Hanzo wasn't there, he could almost hear McCree call out with pleasure.

_ something weird happened _

_ What? _

_ i moaned and it turned me on cause it was in your voice _

_ Yes, I can relate. _

_ It works out for me. I'm hardly unaccustomed to moaning by own name during sex.  _

_ ha _

Hanzo felt himself smile and exhale again. 

_ say something dirty i'm getting close _

_ bet you feel like velvet _

_ Depends. Are you wearing a condom? _

_ yes _

_ but let's say no _

_ Perfect. You should never underestimate my passion for being a cum-dumpster.  _

_ ...alright _

_ fuck i wanna come _

_ i'm gonna go away for a while but let it be known that i'm thinking about watching you squirm on the cock up your tailpipe.  _

Hanzo supposed he could live with that.

He replayed the fantasy in his head as he pushed his phone away from sight. He made a few changes to it, of McCree being the one to bend him over and tug his pants down with a little more force. Watching his erection pump in his hand was satisfying, and he eventually switched his fantasy from over the table to missionary so that he could think about watching McCree's cock slide in and out of him. 

As he grew closer, he let his mind drift to the thought of McCree's rhythm faltering and his erection twitching, thought about McCree coming inside him, about what --

When he peaked, Hanzo turned his attention back to the mirror so that he could watch McCree's body shudder and come on itself. It was a lovely sight, and Hanzo hoped to see it again someday when it was being inhabited by the right brain.

_ I have finished. _

_ i creamed myself half a minute ago _

_ How do you feel? _

_ sex is icky _

_ i'm sorry _

_ Why are you sorry? _

_ now i feel like a dirty old man _

_ I don't understand. _

_ I had a nice time. _

While he waited for McCree to respond, Hanzo went into the bathroom and cleaned the semen from his stomach.

_ that's good to hear. sorry, i read some of my messages over and they made me a little guilty _

_ Your free-market prudishness is not necessary. _

_ I'm looking forward to seeing you tomorrow.  _

Hanzo returned to his bedroom. Now that he was naked and high from his orgasm, sleep seemed much more approachable.

_ me too _

_ You are very sweet. _

_ yeah, well, what can you do _

_ gotta say i've never jerked-off commie cock before _

_ was a little surprised when your spoodge weren't in the shape of a hammer and sickle _

_ i'm sorry for that last message _

_ did you fall asleep? _

_ goddamn it _

Hanzo only ended up getting about an hour or two of sleep before his alarm went off. Although he felt awful as he put his clothes on and left his quarters, nothing could stop him from hurrying to the elevator next to the breakroom.

Winston was already there by the time Hanzo had arrived. As was McCree, who seemed unable to look him in the eyes. 

McCree was also unable to stop smiling, although he looked like he was desperately trying not to.

"Alright." said Winston. "Let's get you two into your bodies."

~~~~

The process of putting McCree and Hanzo back in their bodies was pretty simple. All Winston had to do was exactly the same thing he'd done before.

Still, it was a long process. And Winston didn't know Angela very well, which meant that it was as uncomfortable as it was boring. At least three hours of silence passed by before one of them said something that wasn't about the experiment.

"May I ask you something?" Angela questioned as she looked up from her book, around hour three.

"Hmm?" Winston replied.

"I have always wondered about your love life." 

"Keep wondering."

~~~~

"Hanzo, are you alright?" asked Winston.

Hanzo fluttered his eyes open and looked down at his arms. To his intense relief, he found tattoos instead of metal.

"I am well." he replied.

"Oh, thank god." Angela said.

McCree ended up in just as good of shape. Hanzo's heart skipped a beat as McCree stepped out of the chamber with a smile and closed his metal fist. He was now able to look Hanzo in the eye, although Hanzo was no longer able to let him.

"Nice to be home." McCree muttered to Hanzo while Winston lumbered away to grab his clipboard from Angela.

Hearing McCree's own voice in the right body was a blessing to Hanzo's ears. Hanzo had forgotten how nice it was to listen to McCree speak.

"Yes." Hanzo replied.

"Gotta say, though. My calves are hurting up a storm."

"My apologies."

Their conversation came to a halt when Winston made his way back over with his clipboard.

"Would you two say we could label this test as a failure?" he asked.

"I thought it was a good conversation starter." McCree answered.

Winston didn't get it.

They were let into the elevator up shortly after. This time, Hanzo found it a little easier to start a conversation.

"Thank you for keeping me company last night." said Hanzo.

"Course. Anytime."

They didn't say anything else for the rest of the ride. Hanzo felt he'd said everything he needed, and he was too tired to say much else.

The doors opened.

"Welp, I'm gonna go to bed." McCree said as he stepped into the hall.

"Mmh."

The hallway was empty, even though they were by the breakroom. Hanzo doubted it would last.

"When can I see you?" Hanzo asked as he kept his eyes straight ahead.

"I'm going to Puerto Rico tomorrow."

"Hmm."

"But I'll be back the day after."

"Mhm."

McCree shot Hanzo a look.

"How's that drink looking?" asked McCree.

Quickly, Hanzo shot a glance over both shoulders to make sure that no one was coming into the hallway. When he confirmed that it was all clear, he lifted his hands and gave McCree's cheek a pinch.

"I will see you the day after tomorrow." Hanzo replied.

McCree looked down and let out a short laugh that sounded like it was inspired by nothing more than happiness.

"Sure thing, Shimada." he replied. "It's been weird."

Before Hanzo could respond, a short Swedish man dressed like a medieval knight stormed out of the breakroom with the blueprints for a turret. Hanzo watched in shock as he ran passed them on his short little legs.

"Finns det hjärterum så finns det stjärterum!" the man shouted.

"Who the fuck was that?" Hanzo asked once he'd left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to make an announcement here because i don't like doing it on twitter. For those of you who don't know, I'm currently writing an original-ish piece with the dynamic I developed from all the mchanzo stuff that you can read [here](https://www.owoot.net/). I took the week off before this to write this work, and I took this week off to go on vacation, but I'll be back to writing tomorrow and new chapters will be coming out soon


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